by Laura K. Curtis | Sep 12, 2013 | Romance, The Romance Hero Handbook |
Everywhere you look today you’ll see celebrities behaving badly. You must remember that you are not a celebrity, you are a romance hero, which is considerably more difficult to manage. Take, for example, the 2007 story of Fabio’s encounter with George Clooney, wherein—according to TMZ—
… several women who had won a dinner with Fabio were sitting at his table snapping photos of the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” hunk, when Clooney apparently thought they were shooting pix of him — and gave them the finger!
Other sources have Clooney using decidedly inappropriate language for such a nice restaurant.
Now, lest you misunderstand, Clooney does many admirable things. This is merely an example of one way in which it is tougher to be a true romance hero than to be a celebrity.
Obviously, romance heroes do lose their tempers—they’re only human—but when they do it isn’t because they think the world revolves around them, nor do they get nasty or violent in front of innocent bystanders. Particularly (though not limited to) women.
Some people seem to believe that “respect” and “protect” don’t go together. After all, they say, if you respect a woman’s strength, shouldn’t you believe she can protect herself?
Well, yes and no. This is one of those difficult questions posed to romance heroes. Take, for example, the heroes of romantic suspense novels. Inevitably, situations will occur in which the hero will have to physically rescue the heroine. However, just as often, the heroine is portrayed as rescuing the hero. In fact, in the best romantic suspense, they rescue each other.
But respect is far more than acknowledging someone’s physical strengths. To be a romance hero, you must listen to your heroine, and to women in general. That means if she says “I can handle this situation,” you back off. (It goes without saying, I hope, that if she says no, she means no, even if you think she “really” might mean yes. Remember: no means no. Maybe means no. Only yes means yes.) The ability to listen—and to remember what their lovers tell them—is probably the number one quality of a romance hero.
Take, for example, Jack Hodgins on the television show Bones. This guy is not what you would think of as a romance hero…at first glance. Oh, true, he’s a millionaire, but he’s basically a nerd who spends his days looking at bugs dug out of dead people. And he’s a conspiracy theorist. And a UFO fan. But Jack Hodgins gets the girl. And why does he get the girl? Not because he buys her anything fancy with his millions or takes her to fancy restaurants. No, he gets her because he listens. When he asks her out on their first date, he remembers that she said she misses the feeling of being a child on a swing, so he takes her to the park and swings with her.
Besides, listening to women will teach you about women, which means you are far less likely to make a misstep in pursuit of your heroine. Once upon a time, when men and women lived basically separate lives, it was very difficult to for one sex to see inside the lives of the other, but that is no longer the case. I’m not saying stalk women, here, just listen. Read some blogs, follow some women on Twitter or Facebook, talk to the women in your place of work. See what kinds of things interest them, and what pisses them off. This will vary from woman to woman, naturally, but it’s a start.
So watch, listen, respect and protect. Do that and you’ll be well on your way!
by Laura K. Curtis | May 27, 2013 | Romance, The Romance Hero Handbook |
Many people get an immediate picture in their minds when you say “romance hero.” Great hair, great teeth…and plenty of rippling muscle. Whether businessman, mercenary or kilt-wearing historical Highlander, the image is always one of broad shoulders, tanned skin and, oh yeah, did I say rippling muscle?
Oddly enough—or perhaps not so oddly, if you’ve studied male and female psyches—the ones for whom the clearest “Fabio image” comes to mind are men, not women. Not to say women don’t appreciate beefcake, because they most certainly do (there’s a reason those hotties are on the covers), but women know there’s a whole range of sex appeal out there.
Plus, men are more visual than women. Women are more apt to care that you try to keep yourself in shape than that you actually manage to avoid the chip aisle. But you do have to try, so, unfortunately, the fact that women are more likely to be interested in your mind than your body doesn’t let you off the hook.
Why? Because lack of attention to your health and welfare shows a lack of respect for yourself. And if you don’t respect yourself, no woman will respect you either.
So what’s a poor schlub to do? You’re forty, you’ve never worked out a day in your life, and you can’t afford a gym membership. You’ve got a spare tire, you like beer too much to give it up, and you’re not looking to give yourself a hernia. Well, as any self-respecting trainer will tell you, the first thing to do is get a physical. Find out what you can and cannot do.
Once that’s done, maybe you should get a dog. Not only are dogs great companions for romance heroes (heroines can’t resist their furry faces), but they require exercise. Get out and walk. Heck, get out and run.
But perhaps your lifestyle isn’t exactly dog-friendly. You travel too much, or your landlord doesn’t allow pets. That’s a shame, but it’s not an excuse. When it comes to fitness and self respect, there are no excuses!
Consensus is that cardio helps you lose fat while working with weights helps you gain muscle. You need to do both. You won’t like both. Nobody does. Generally, people are built for one or the other—weight work or cardio—and forcing themselves to do the other is a major chore.
It’s definitely harder for the average Joe than it is for all the hot romance heroes who inhabit novels. After all, those guys spend their lives running through forests dodging bullets from cartel villains, captaining pirate vessels, and turning into wolves and dashing across the countryside.
But just because you aren’t fighting off raiding neighbors and kidnapping a bride doesn’t mean you can’t stay in shape. Here are a few tips:
- Start every meal with vegetables. Lots of vegetables. If you eat plenty of veggies, you won’t be as hungry for the other stuff.
- Take the stairs whenever possible.
- Walk whenever you can, whenever it’s an option.
Back in the second lesson, I mentioned that joining your local volunteer FD was a great way to become a reformable rake. It’s also a great way to get in shape. Join up with local guys and train. You aren’t going to be doing the caber toss or anything, you just have to get rid of some of the flab. (Plus there’s that whole “man in uniform” thing. But that’s for another lesson.)
Next, think about the things you do have room for in your living space. Most cardio will be taking place outside unless you have room for a bike or stair stepper or similar in your living space. For cardio, you’ll walk or run or the like. But for weight training, there are plenty of things you can do in a small space.
First, consider going to “back school.” Something like 75% of Americans experience back pain in their lifetime and for a large number of them, that pain is chronic. But “back school,” which is a combination of exercises generally prescribed by physical therapists, strengthens your core muscles to prevent back strain. (Plus, for the lazy among us, most of back school is done while lying on the floor.) You don’t want to lift your new heroine into your arms only to drop her on her butt when your back spasms!
You don’t need to do this!
Back school isn’t a one-time thing. It’s ongoing. You don’t need special equipment, though a balance ball and some light dumbbells will help. And you should invest in a trainer or physical therapist once or twice to show you the correct form—form is the most important thing when it comes to exercise! Don’t be fooled by all those people throwing massive amounts of weight around. That’s not necessary and it can hurt you more than help you.
Beyond back school, there are all kinds of things you can do using your own body weight. Pushups, squats, stretches, crunches…none of them require any equipment at all. With those light dumbbells and that balance ball, you can enlarge your workout and shrink your waist. You’re not trying to gain bodybuilder status, so don’t worry about the gigantic dumbbells—you’ll likely look like a gigantic dumbbell if you try to use them anyway.
More reps, lighter weight, concentrate on form and on keeping all your core muscles tight.
Most romance heroes don’t work out without a point; they need to be in shape to keep up with the demands of their lives. The high-powered businessmen frequently work out to relieve stress or because physical exertion helps with mental clarity. The cops, firefighters, and military men depend on their muscles every day. The Vikings need to be able to command respect and to fight off their enemies.
You should consider what you want to do once you lose the flab and gain the muscle. Maybe you’d like to be able to play sports with your friends. Maybe you’d like to gain some of that mental clarity (remember to put away your phone when you exercise—workouts are “you” time). Maybe you’d simply like to be able to walk around without your knees complaining so much. Remember that romance heroes don’t work out to attract women. They stay in shape for themselves, and that’s what you need to do, too.
by Laura K. Curtis | Feb 4, 2013 | The Romance Hero Handbook |
In her heart of hearts, every woman loves a rake, a bad boy, a pirate.[1] These are men who play by their own rules, living untamed lives. Over the years, dozens of titles have celebrated these heroes. Fabio himself glorified this type of hero in his books Pirate, Rogue, and Comanche. We’ve read about reluctant rakes, notorious rakes, and even perfect rakes. But no matter how wicked (and such heroes are rarely anything less than wicked), a rake is not a boor. His appeal does not lie solely in his blatant sensuality, it is rooted in a deeper integrity.
The heroine recognizes this underlying honor, which the romance hero himself either cannot admit or actively works to deny, and she sets out to reveal it to the world. Without the decency at the root of his character, the rake would be merely another roué. He would be irredeemable.
And, as any woman knows, the whole point of seducing a rake is to reform him.
So if you want to become a romance hero, you have to walk a fine line. You need to show off your masculinity and give in to your wild side while remaining true to a core set of values. For Fabio, as for his heroes, those values are very clear: honesty, integrity, and family. Although Fabio has moved away from his native Italy, he retains the principles he acquired living there as a child. His heart is as strong a muscle as any of the more visible ones in his body, which is what makes him a true romance hero.
Having a heart doesn’t mean becoming an emo boy, but once you recognize your heroine, you must make her the center of your world. You don’t have to give up beer with your buddies, but for goodness’ sake, learn to fold your own clothes! The historical hero usually has a valet to dress him (except the Scottish lairds–it doesn’t taken them long to dress given their lack of undergarments), but he is still an independent, forward-thinking fellow, more than capable of taking care of himself. In other words, he doesn’t live in his mother’s basement or let her do his laundry.
Although the concept of a rake conjures up the classic English aristocrat leading a life of leisure, the same type of man can be seen in plenty of contemporary romance novels. From the fatally sexy vampire who loves ’em and slays ’em until he meets his match in a demon-hunting temptress to the Greek tycoon who heats the sheets with numerous mistresses before falling for his virgin housekeeper, the bad boy is a standard of every sub-genre of romance.
But how can you, the Average Joe, the Man On The Street, tell whether you have the capacity to get out there and attract women? You don’t have fangs or a mansion in Crete, you’re not independently wealthy and you still have twenty-eight years left on your thirty year mortgage. Does that mean you lose out?
Not at all! In fact, in the modern world, there are many things more important than either the ability to fly at night (especially when accompanied by the corresponding need for blood) or a huge home in a crumbling economy. Here’s a checklist to get you on your way:
- You have a job. Yes, a job. Even the wealthy romance hero works. Whether he secretly spies on behalf of his government or merely runs a charitable organization, something worthwhile fills his days.
- You must have your own living space and vehicle. They don’t have to be grand, but if you can’t afford your own space, you probably have more to worry about than your status as a rake. Of course, there are exceptions: if you’ve recently returned from war only to find that a villainous former friend has stolen everything from you, you’re excused.
- You have a few not-too-bad habits that you don’t mind losing when you meet the woman of your dreams.
- You have hobbies. What else are you going to talk about?
- You’ve been places and seen things. If you live in a rural area, that’s fine, but get out of town once in a while. See where the road less traveled takes you. Rakes have experience!
Of course, some jobs and experiences are worth more than others on the bad-boy attraction scale. Are you in law enforcement or military service? Are you a major league sports professional? Do you run your own successful business? Are you…a spy? Bingo! You get double points! You hardly have to do a thing; the hyper-masculine aura of the rake pulses off you in waves and women likely flock to your side.
On the other hand, if you work in middle management, slave away in a cubicle, or spend most of your time hunched over a computer, you’re going to have to actively nurture your inner rake. A few ideas on improving those roguish qualities:
- Ride a motorcycle. Stop if you find you hate it, though.
- Take flying lessons.
- Sign up for your local volunteer fire department if your town has one.
- Dress well. You don’t have to wear a suit all the time, but make sure your clothes flatter you. If you need help, ask.
- Be ambitious. If middle management is your highest aspiration, you’ll never make it as a romance hero.
- Learn things. It doesn’t matter what. Pick up a book on a topic that interests you. Once you’ve explored that, choose another subject.
- Practice flirting. No, not at the office! Test it out when it doesn’t matter, so you’ll be ready when it does. Flirt with grandma. You’ll both get a kick out of it.
- Participate in office fun, fantasy leagues or office pools. No rake can resist a bet.
- Get out! Camping, rock climbing, fishing, river rafting…try out activities to recharge day-job-drained body and mind. These are also apt to improve your physique, which will help you attract women, and your stamina, which will help you keep them.
- Do something that makes you uncomfortable. It will broaden your horizons and rakes have notoriously broad horizons.
The historical hero is an incomparable horseman and a first class fighter. His clothes always show off his (near-perfect) physique, even when his valet has to pick them out for him. He works hard, even when it appears he is resting on his laurels (a rake lets people believe him lazy), takes his politics seriously, and is constantly improving himself. Not only is he–by very definition–the consummate flirt, but he is comfortable flirting with any woman, no matter her age or station in life.
Indeed, probably the most outstanding characteristic of the bad boy hero of any era, ancient, modern or futuristic, is that he is comfortable in any situation, primarily because he’s already encountered most of them a time or three. The only thing that can knock him for a loop is the heroine. It may take him a little while to come around, but once he recognizes his soul mate, his raffish ways cease.
Given that so many heroes cloak themselves in the garb of rakes before finding true love, how’s a girl to know whether the dashing young fellow she meets is heroic material or not? Here’s a quick quiz to help you determine whether your bad-boy boyfriend can be redeemed:
We can all be blinded by pure sex appeal. But if you’re looking for more than a one night stand, you’re going to have to examine the depth of your partner’s character.
- Does he flirt with other women even when you’re together?
- Does he show up late to your dates, cancel at the last minute or stand you up?
- Does he try to separate you from your family and friends?
- Does he correct your behavior, claiming to have your best interests at heart?
- Do you hear him talking about you to others in a negative way, even in jest?
If your boyfriend exhibits any of these habits, he’s a cad, not a rake, and you should drop him. Go ahead and look him up in a few years, so you can congratulate yourself on your good judgment in knowing the difference between a bad boy and a genuinely bad man. And, romance hero wannabes, take note–never engage in any of the above behaviors!
Now you know what to look out for, how can you identify those who will treat you right once you get their attention? That is, of course, the most difficult question. There’s an old adage we can start with, however: “never wed the man whose marriage you broke up; he cheats on his wife.” Look at how the man who interests you treats the women around him. Don’t worry if he’s a serial monogamist, that’s a prerequisite for a rake, but if he’s cheating on his current girlfriend, stay away!
If he’s single, and we all hope he is, check out whether he has female friends. Does he respect the rights and opinions of the women around him? Does he have a sister he cares about? Women often congregate around a true romance hero because they sense that he appreciates them and will treat them well even if they don’t perceive him as a potential mate.
Also, examine how his male friends treat their significant others. There’s a reason so many romance novels come in trilogies: romantic heroes surround themselves with others of the same quality. If his friends trash talk about their girlfriends and wives, chances are he will, too. On the other hand, if many of them are paired off in stable, strong relationships, you’ve probably found yourself a winner.
Heroes are looking for heroines who can stand up to them, who have their own strength and self-confidence. Creating a satisfying life for yourself will make you stand out in a crowd and will keep him coming back.
by Laura K. Curtis | Jan 1, 2013 | Romance, The Romance Hero Handbook, Writing |
Lesson the First: Identify and Acknowledge Your Inner Romance Hero
Examining the shelves of the bookstore’s Romance section could give a normal guy an inferiority complex. Billionaire businessmen, Navy SEALs, kilt-wearing, sword-wielding Scottish warriors, and century-old vampires abound. Even demons from Hades seem to have a leg up on their human counterparts in the romantic race. So what’s an Average Joe to do?
Never fear, the handbook is here! Regardless of nationality, socio-economic class, or even species, the characteristics that make a hero irresistible are always the same. Is your hair too thin or your belly too fat? Are your shoulders narrower than a pundit’s mind? No matter what you look like on the outside, on the inside is a Romance Hero just waiting to be born. You just need to find him and set him free.
But how?
Imagine you are that most famous of all Romance Heroes, Fabio. You walk into a famous restaurant. People stare. They whisper. Some even point surreptitiously. But do you care? No, you do not. You are Fabio and admiration is your due. Those who snicker are merely jealous of your success.
Now, shrug off your Fabio skin, but hold the grand and glorious feeling in your heart. Do you recognize it? It’s self-confidence, and it grows out of knowing who you are and how much value you have.
Not so easy, you say? Then we’d better get started!
First, we need to discover which kind of Romance Hero you have inside.
For each of the following historical eras, put an A next to the position you would most like to have held. Then, go back through put a B next to the professions you feel best suit your talents and personality.
Ancient Greece and Rome
Philosopher
Warrior
Politician
Medieval Times
Viking warrior
Scottish laird/warrior
Arthurian knight/courtier
Renaissance Era
Poet/Playwright
Explorer
Pirate
Philosopher
Inventor
17th-19th Centuries
Frontiersman in the New World
Explorer
Pirate
English nobleman
Modern World
Computer expert
Special Forces operative
Cowboy/Rancher
CEO
Politician
Social activist
Look at your answers. The better your desires correspond with your talents, the easier it will be to achieve your goals and unleash the hero within. If the two are always widely different, you can still get there, but the road will be longer.
What does this questionnaire tell you about your inner romance hero? Let’s take a look at your choices. Do your answers lean toward warriors, pirates and commandos? You probably have a great deal in common with romance’s more physical “Alpha” heroes. Politicians, noblemen and CEOs? You’re ambitious and driven, apt to be sophisticated and well-groomed. Explorers, inventors and computer experts have insatiable curiosity. Like poets, playwrights, philosophers and social activists, they’re apt to fall into the more easily approachable “Beta” hero category. These men are some of women’s favorites!
Why all the focus on history? After all, you’re a modern guy and chances are you don’t sit in the House of Lords, roam the Highlands in a kilt, or sail the seas under a flag adorned with a skull and crossbones. But the truth is, even the most modern women like a bit of old-fashioned courtesy in their lives. You don’t have to throw your coat down over a puddle, but you should become accustomed to holding doors, walking on the outside of the sidewalk[1], and seeing your date all the way to her door even when you don’t expect a kiss goodnight.
If you want your heroine to believe the expression of your inner hero and not suspect you of cynical self-interest, your heroism must be real and true, not a costume you put on to impress. In other words, you have to respect not only your heroine, but yourself.
Self-respect may be something you’re not used to. After all, most of us are used to basing our self-image on our jobs and your employment may well be less than impressive. The vast majority of us are worker bees rather than queens and we have a tendency to think this makes us less important. But the fact is, without the worker bee, the human race would die out. Queens give orders, but workers are the ones who pollinate massive fields of grain, meadows of flowers and orchards of fruit. This is the reason biologists are terrified about the fact that bee colonies are dying out.
So imagine, for a moment, that no one was willing to do your job. What would happen to the world? Take the consequences as far as you possibly can and you will see how important your work really is.
For example, let’s say people decided to refuse take jobs in department stores. No retail workers would mean that all clothes would have to be sold online and shipped–often each item individually–to people who would not have a chance to try them on. Every piece that didn’t fit would then be sent back. Manufacturers, foreseeing how many times they’d be paying for two-way shipping on each item, would have to charge more, so lots of people wouldn’t be able to afford the same level of quality goods. Plus, the constant trucking and flying of items across country or around the globe would be incredibly destructive to the environment. Retail workers are saving for the planet!
You also have to remember that even Fabio himself didn’t start out as an international romantic hero and multi-millionaire. Nor did he have the chest, shoulders and hair he has become so famous for. What he did have was potential, ambition, and a willingness to work, and if you have those things then you, too, can become a Romance Hero.
And here we reveal another secret of the romance hero: he is ambitious. He always has a goal in mind. His actions and decisions are informed by his desire to achieve his goals. The key for you, however, is to discover your inner hero’s definition of accomplishment, for every person has a different idea of how success will look.
In Mary Balogh’s historical Slightly Sinful [Dell, 2004], the hero expresses exactly what is so important about ambition and passion.
Even if a man had enough personal wealth to carry him comfortably through life without any exertion on his part, as he did, there ought to be something that fired his blood and elevated his soul.
The hero of Jill Shalvis’s contemporary The Sweetest Thing [Hachette Forever, 2011] also has to challenge and change his lack of drive before he can get the girl:
The next morning, Ford woke up in a rare, foul mood. Tara was right about him. He was easy come, easy go, and he didn’t like what that said about him.
This is a vital difference between men and women, and one you must understand should you wish to become a romance hero: men consider only success itself ultimately important; women consider the struggle to succeed equally vital. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to aim high.
The third and final quality of all romance heroes, along with respect and ambition, is care for the less fortunate among us. In this aspect, the romance hero is no different from any hero from Superman to the man on the street who prevents a mugger from stealing a woman’s purse. Your inner romance hero will have his own set of altruistic priorities and you need to discover and nurture them.
Even if you are having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day[2], never forget that others are worse off, nor that you have a responsibility (as a human being as well as a Romance Hero) to look out for them. Indeed, if you take the time to look beyond yourself, you may find your own burdens lightened (especially if your heroine happens to notice your actions).
A perfect example of this selflessness is Rowland Manning, the illegitimate, desperate, and near-destitute hero of Sophia Nash’s Secrets of a Scandalous Bride [HarperCollins, 2010]. Deeply in debt, with the complete ruination of his business at hand, he worries more about his employees than himself.
He searched desperately for a solution. These men and so many others faced certain destitution. With the flood of soldiers now returning from the battlefields of France and Spain, positions in great houses were scarce. If his enterprise collapsed, where would they all go?
How different from the CEOs making headlines today, with their golden parachutes and less-than-sterling ethics. Never forget that as a romance hero, what you have is far less important than what you do.
Let’s take a minute to check out your priorities.
- You are an English lord and, as such, you should be riding a fine stallion rather than the nag you currently ride. However, you only have enough money at the moment to either purchase said stallion or fix up your stable with suitable accommodations. Within the next two years, you will be able to afford both. Which do you spend your cash on first, or do you wait and buy the horse when you can begin to build the stable?[3]
- You have a little money in the bank that you’ve been saving to buy a new computer. Your old one works just fine, but it’s getting on and the new ones are sleeker and faster. A friend wants to borrow that same amount of money for a downpayment on a new car. Should you lend it to him?[4]
In the following lessons, you will learn how to let your inner Romance Hero shine through despite any external complications. But for the moment, just remember the three defining characteristics you’ve attributed to him:
- Respect for yourself and others
- Ambition (list your goals here if you think you might forget them!)
- Care for those in situations more dire than your own (take a moment to reflect on who that is and what you might do to help)
Got it? Then let’s move along to the second lesson where we find out how to begin to unleash your inner hero upon the women in your world!
[1] This bit of gentlemanly behavior is to prevent muddy water from splashing up from the gutter onto a lady’s dress. Even if your girlfriend is a Goth mistress of the night who wears spikes and studs, you should treat her with care and respect.
[2] Don’t know what this phrase refers to? You should. It’s the title of a children’s book, and the good romance hero relates well to children even if he doesn’t want any of his own. Get to know your nieces and nephews, the children of your friends and family. Women are suspicious of men who are too uncomfortable around little ones.
[3] This is a question of forethought. If you cannot care for the horse, you shouldn’t buy it. Begin building the stable immediately so that by the time you can afford the stallion you will have an appropriate home for it. This is practical as well as ethical; when making decisions, the romance hero always thinks in terms of consequences to others.
[4]
You are under no moral or ethical obligation to lend him the money and, indeed, financial dealings have ended many a friendship. That said, you should consider two things before making this decision: first, is his need for a new car critical? Is his old one not up to getting him back and forth from work? And second, if he has to borrow the money for the downpayment, chances are you won’t get it back; how will you feel about that? Will you be able to let him simply take the money without it sticking in your craw every time you see him? The answers to those two questions will tell you how you should answer his request.
by Laura K. Curtis | Dec 20, 2012 | Romance, The Romance Hero Handbook, Writing |
Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester) of Supernatural
I’m a big fan of The Romance Man. His blog is often hilarious and sometimes poignant… and how many guys out there are willing to jump into the romance pool, read a bunch of romance novels, and only make fun of the ridiculous ones? And even those, he’s gentle with. Mostly. For the same reason, I am a big fan of my colleague Chris, who works with me at Criminal Element and also at Heroes and Heartbreakers.
Still, that’s only two guys reading romances. TWO. And I think the vast majority of men would benefit from reading them.
But I am a realist. I know it won’t happen. I’ve been accused of being ruthlessly pragmatic and even (OMG) unromantic. So if I can’t get guys to read romance novels, how can I help them to become more romantically actualized? Well, I’ve spent a lot of time reading romance novels myself (oh, the pain of research), and I’ve distilled my findings down to ten easy lessons. Well, nine, really, with a summary at the end.
Here are the chapters…I am aiming for one every week or two:
- Acknowledge Your Inner Romance Hero
If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will, either. Every true romance hero understands his value to the world. It may take him a little longer to acknowledge his flaws, but that’s what heroines are for.
- Be a Reformable Rake
There’s nothing so tempting as a rake, but rake is not synonymous with boor. The rake enjoys a bit of a dissolute reputation, but when push comes to shove, his inner loyalty always wins out. Where’s the line between a rake and a jerk?
- Keep Your Calves Kilt-Worthy
A romance hero is always in shape. Not every man can be six feet tall with six-pack abs, but you can, and should, squeeze in a work out now and then. Even if you don’t have a perfect body, your heroine will appreciate the effort.
- Learn to Woo Your Lady
In the several hundred years the romance genre’s heroes have been wooing and winning their ladies, this has changed somewhat, but certain things remain constant.
- Always Protect a Lady’s Person, Reputation, and Sensibilities
George Clooney, listen up! Living as a romance hero means never letting anyone take advantage of the women in your vicinity.
- Remember: Fashion is Always in Fashion
A romance hero would never be caught dead in Tevas with white socks. No, it’s a pirate shirt blowing in the wind, or a kilt blowing in the wind. And personal grooming is a must. No woman ever lusted longingly after a man with greasy or over-gelled hair.
- Be a Duke in the Ballroom, a Highwayman in the Bedroom
A romance hero is seductive and sensual, with his public persona only hinting at the more blatant side of his nature expressed in the bedroom.
- No Crying in Public
Get serious. The sensitive 90s guys went back out with the 90s, thank goodness. A romance hero may shed a few tears when he’s in private with his soul mate, but he’s not going to stand on stage at a convention and cry like a baby.
- Become Civilized
Real men don’t wipe their hands on their kilts. At least, not in the modern era. Learn to converse, to listen, and to dance. Yes, dance. Women love a man who can dance!
- Always Remember: You Are The Cover, You Are The Hero
Never forget the lessons you’ve learned. Always conduct yourself as if you were being painted, drawn, photographed or written about.
I’d love to get your input, so feel free to shout out suggestions for things the chapters need! Let’s give ’em what they need to give us what we want!
