by Laura K. Curtis | Feb 17, 2013 | Stuff! |
Today I went to my aunt’s memorial service. She was an amazing woman who made enormous differences in people’s lives. Through her generosity of spirit, her activism, her medical and psychiatric practice and her personal belief in doing all she could to help those less fortunate, she improved so many lives. Many of the people who benefited—and will continue to benefit in the future—because of the things she did will never even know her name.
If I started tomorrow, I could never hope to have that kind of impact. My charitable footprint is smaller, though I do my best. When I go, I hope I have planted half as many good things in the world as she did.
RIP, Sonja.
by Laura K. Curtis | Feb 12, 2013 | Romance, Writing |
[This post originally appeared on The Women of Mystery.]
Years ago, I began attending writers conferences. The first one I went to was while I was living in St. Louis, the second when I was living out in East Hampton. In both places I was fairly isolated, far from any other writers. And back in those days—the early 90s—the Internet didn’t exist the way it does now. I belonged to an online writer’s group on AOL and a writer’s community founded by Orson Scott Card, both of which were fun, but neither of which gave me what I really needed.
So I went to my first writer’s conference, which was RWA National in New Orleans. I was painfully shy at the time and didn’t meet many people, and without the whole Internet thing, I’m not sure how much the networking would have helped anyway. But what I did do at that conference was attend the sessions. And I learned. And learned. And learned.
I learned about copyright, about rights, about relationships with editors and agents, and about the business end of publishing. Because I was there, and listening, I heard the answers to questions I wouldn’t even have thought to ask. It didn’t matter that at the time I was writing epic fantasy and this was a romance conference…there weren’t any fantasy conferences I could get to. So I went to RWA and I soaked up all the knowledge.
It’s kind of my motto, and something I tell people a lot: “shut up and listen.” Go to every conference, every convention, every meeting, every critique group, every panel at the library, every professional development thing you can find. Go. And listen. Don’t talk about your book. Don’t talk about yourself. Don’t talk about your career. Just listen.
If people ask you about what you write, by all means answer. But don’t go because you think it’s a chance to promote your book. Go because it’s a chance for you to learn from people who are further along than you are. Go because you can take notes that will help you with your next book. Go because people don’t want to sit down and tell you the same thing they’ve told 100 other people already, so the best way for you to find it out is at the same time those 100 people find out—in a panel. We’re all busy and none of us want 8 million emails cluttering up our mailboxes, but I’ve belonged to crimescenewriter for three years—just so I can go back and search the archives later on when I need them or ask the occasional question. When I can answer a question (like on firefighters and extrication), I always feel a huge sense of triumph because everyone there has given me so much over the years without even knowing it!
This year’s RWA is in July in Atlanta. (I really wish they’d do cooler climates–one year it was in Orlando, and next year it’s in TX, blech.) I was talking to someone recently who said she’s not sure she’ll go because she’s self-pubbing her next book and she’s not on a panel. I told her I think that’s a mistake. True, traditional conferences don’t give you a lot of help for new publishing paths, but they do help you network, and they do help you with craft. And anyone who tells you they know all they need to know about craft is someone whose work I’m not interested in reading.
The other thing about conferences is that they get you excited about writing. Or they do me. Whenever I come home from a conference, I am full of energy. Energy not only for writing, but also for publicizing. All those things that seem to drag at me, to weigh me down, seem lighter and easier after a conference.
And then, there’s the bar.
The bar is where you meet people. It’s where you get to know them, where you laugh, and where—if you’re like me—you come up with ideas for future books. I kid you not. In the bar at the Orlando RWA conference, a short story and a novel were born. It’s where you meet agents and editors and where you make contacts who will help you and support you throughout your writing career. These are the people you will support, too, of course…it all goes both ways!
This is why I tell people to put their real picture as their AVI on Twitter…so that people recognize them in the bar. You never know who might have a project they want to discuss with you.
Remember, genre writing is a community. That’s probably the most important thing you need to remember when writing and promoting your book, and it’s the thing that becomes obvious at conferences. Readers are writers, writers are readers. Those of us who write crime fiction—or romance or sci-fi—we read it, too. We like it, and we’re happy enough to like you, if you give us a chance. But we want to know you and see that you share our love of the genre. We want to see that you’re helping other authors and trying to learn to better yourself, and we don’t want to be sold to.
by Laura K. Curtis | Feb 4, 2013 | The Romance Hero Handbook |
In her heart of hearts, every woman loves a rake, a bad boy, a pirate.[1] These are men who play by their own rules, living untamed lives. Over the years, dozens of titles have celebrated these heroes. Fabio himself glorified this type of hero in his books Pirate, Rogue, and Comanche. We’ve read about reluctant rakes, notorious rakes, and even perfect rakes. But no matter how wicked (and such heroes are rarely anything less than wicked), a rake is not a boor. His appeal does not lie solely in his blatant sensuality, it is rooted in a deeper integrity.
The heroine recognizes this underlying honor, which the romance hero himself either cannot admit or actively works to deny, and she sets out to reveal it to the world. Without the decency at the root of his character, the rake would be merely another roué. He would be irredeemable.
And, as any woman knows, the whole point of seducing a rake is to reform him.
So if you want to become a romance hero, you have to walk a fine line. You need to show off your masculinity and give in to your wild side while remaining true to a core set of values. For Fabio, as for his heroes, those values are very clear: honesty, integrity, and family. Although Fabio has moved away from his native Italy, he retains the principles he acquired living there as a child. His heart is as strong a muscle as any of the more visible ones in his body, which is what makes him a true romance hero.
Having a heart doesn’t mean becoming an emo boy, but once you recognize your heroine, you must make her the center of your world. You don’t have to give up beer with your buddies, but for goodness’ sake, learn to fold your own clothes! The historical hero usually has a valet to dress him (except the Scottish lairds–it doesn’t taken them long to dress given their lack of undergarments), but he is still an independent, forward-thinking fellow, more than capable of taking care of himself. In other words, he doesn’t live in his mother’s basement or let her do his laundry.
Although the concept of a rake conjures up the classic English aristocrat leading a life of leisure, the same type of man can be seen in plenty of contemporary romance novels. From the fatally sexy vampire who loves ’em and slays ’em until he meets his match in a demon-hunting temptress to the Greek tycoon who heats the sheets with numerous mistresses before falling for his virgin housekeeper, the bad boy is a standard of every sub-genre of romance.
But how can you, the Average Joe, the Man On The Street, tell whether you have the capacity to get out there and attract women? You don’t have fangs or a mansion in Crete, you’re not independently wealthy and you still have twenty-eight years left on your thirty year mortgage. Does that mean you lose out?
Not at all! In fact, in the modern world, there are many things more important than either the ability to fly at night (especially when accompanied by the corresponding need for blood) or a huge home in a crumbling economy. Here’s a checklist to get you on your way:
- You have a job. Yes, a job. Even the wealthy romance hero works. Whether he secretly spies on behalf of his government or merely runs a charitable organization, something worthwhile fills his days.
- You must have your own living space and vehicle. They don’t have to be grand, but if you can’t afford your own space, you probably have more to worry about than your status as a rake. Of course, there are exceptions: if you’ve recently returned from war only to find that a villainous former friend has stolen everything from you, you’re excused.
- You have a few not-too-bad habits that you don’t mind losing when you meet the woman of your dreams.
- You have hobbies. What else are you going to talk about?
- You’ve been places and seen things. If you live in a rural area, that’s fine, but get out of town once in a while. See where the road less traveled takes you. Rakes have experience!
Of course, some jobs and experiences are worth more than others on the bad-boy attraction scale. Are you in law enforcement or military service? Are you a major league sports professional? Do you run your own successful business? Are you…a spy? Bingo! You get double points! You hardly have to do a thing; the hyper-masculine aura of the rake pulses off you in waves and women likely flock to your side.
On the other hand, if you work in middle management, slave away in a cubicle, or spend most of your time hunched over a computer, you’re going to have to actively nurture your inner rake. A few ideas on improving those roguish qualities:
- Ride a motorcycle. Stop if you find you hate it, though.
- Take flying lessons.
- Sign up for your local volunteer fire department if your town has one.
- Dress well. You don’t have to wear a suit all the time, but make sure your clothes flatter you. If you need help, ask.
- Be ambitious. If middle management is your highest aspiration, you’ll never make it as a romance hero.
- Learn things. It doesn’t matter what. Pick up a book on a topic that interests you. Once you’ve explored that, choose another subject.
- Practice flirting. No, not at the office! Test it out when it doesn’t matter, so you’ll be ready when it does. Flirt with grandma. You’ll both get a kick out of it.
- Participate in office fun, fantasy leagues or office pools. No rake can resist a bet.
- Get out! Camping, rock climbing, fishing, river rafting…try out activities to recharge day-job-drained body and mind. These are also apt to improve your physique, which will help you attract women, and your stamina, which will help you keep them.
- Do something that makes you uncomfortable. It will broaden your horizons and rakes have notoriously broad horizons.
The historical hero is an incomparable horseman and a first class fighter. His clothes always show off his (near-perfect) physique, even when his valet has to pick them out for him. He works hard, even when it appears he is resting on his laurels (a rake lets people believe him lazy), takes his politics seriously, and is constantly improving himself. Not only is he–by very definition–the consummate flirt, but he is comfortable flirting with any woman, no matter her age or station in life.
Indeed, probably the most outstanding characteristic of the bad boy hero of any era, ancient, modern or futuristic, is that he is comfortable in any situation, primarily because he’s already encountered most of them a time or three. The only thing that can knock him for a loop is the heroine. It may take him a little while to come around, but once he recognizes his soul mate, his raffish ways cease.
Given that so many heroes cloak themselves in the garb of rakes before finding true love, how’s a girl to know whether the dashing young fellow she meets is heroic material or not? Here’s a quick quiz to help you determine whether your bad-boy boyfriend can be redeemed:
We can all be blinded by pure sex appeal. But if you’re looking for more than a one night stand, you’re going to have to examine the depth of your partner’s character.
- Does he flirt with other women even when you’re together?
- Does he show up late to your dates, cancel at the last minute or stand you up?
- Does he try to separate you from your family and friends?
- Does he correct your behavior, claiming to have your best interests at heart?
- Do you hear him talking about you to others in a negative way, even in jest?
If your boyfriend exhibits any of these habits, he’s a cad, not a rake, and you should drop him. Go ahead and look him up in a few years, so you can congratulate yourself on your good judgment in knowing the difference between a bad boy and a genuinely bad man. And, romance hero wannabes, take note–never engage in any of the above behaviors!
Now you know what to look out for, how can you identify those who will treat you right once you get their attention? That is, of course, the most difficult question. There’s an old adage we can start with, however: “never wed the man whose marriage you broke up; he cheats on his wife.” Look at how the man who interests you treats the women around him. Don’t worry if he’s a serial monogamist, that’s a prerequisite for a rake, but if he’s cheating on his current girlfriend, stay away!
If he’s single, and we all hope he is, check out whether he has female friends. Does he respect the rights and opinions of the women around him? Does he have a sister he cares about? Women often congregate around a true romance hero because they sense that he appreciates them and will treat them well even if they don’t perceive him as a potential mate.
Also, examine how his male friends treat their significant others. There’s a reason so many romance novels come in trilogies: romantic heroes surround themselves with others of the same quality. If his friends trash talk about their girlfriends and wives, chances are he will, too. On the other hand, if many of them are paired off in stable, strong relationships, you’ve probably found yourself a winner.
Heroes are looking for heroines who can stand up to them, who have their own strength and self-confidence. Creating a satisfying life for yourself will make you stand out in a crowd and will keep him coming back.
